I noticed a couple of things today:
- This blog doesn’t get updated nearly enough.
- I talk a LOT about the weather and seasons.
- Things are better.
This last is pretty incredible.
I have been under a severe cloud with regards to all things work for, well, longer than I care to remember. I was suffering from the heartbreaking certainty that all was not well with what I was doing. Despite any evidence some parts of my brain could muster, I could not shake off the general sense of impending doom. It was merely a matter of time before untold awfulness would ensue, and I was uncovered as the charlatan I secretly knew myself to be.
Several of the things I was really dreading did not come to pass. One did, but it didn’t kill me, and it won’t. I have options. The work I have done is adequate. The work I will do is not too late, and is pretty much as good as anyone else could do. I am contributing to my corner of the world.
Also today, I read the following from Dad Gone Mad – about how we project our insecurities into the world, in his case into his perception of his relationship with his wife, in my, more minor case, my perception of my work in general.
That’s the depression. When virtually every cognitive process—logic, concentration, memory—is lying face-down on the canvass, the brain becomes lost and aimless, and negativity becomes the rule of law.
Read the rest here, its a great, great piece.
So, spring has come at last, the clouds have parted, and there is great rejoicing.