Category Archives: my not a job

Just touching base

Rain is keeping me happily at my desk, and I thought I’d best let anyone who’s checking know that all is well at Chez Treehouse.
At work, however, not so much.
So: back to the grindstone, and I’ll see you on the other side.

Overheard

My older daughter, J, loves nothing better than to explain things, and her soliloquies are often so amusing that I wish I could capture their essence on the blog, but I appear unable to recall conversations well enough to portray even their gist.

There is one from a couple of weeks ago that is staying with me no matter what I do:
It was early, and J thought I had snuck off to work, as I sometimes do, without waking her. I overheard her explaining to her sister that Mama had gone already, and Mama has to work, “and sometimes she needs to work extra hours so that she won’t lose her job. She has to work extra hard so that she won’t lose her job, that’s what that means.”

She continued, after an interjection I couldn’t hear by her sister: “Losing her job means that she won’t be able to go to work anymore, and she’ll need to find another place to work. Yeah, well, she tries really hard but she needs to try really hard, because she has to keep her job to look after us. We have to understand, because Mama is needs to not lose her job.”

That was about four repetitions of “lose her job” more than I wanted to hear. She’s a sensitive soul, and takes things to heart, but I had sort of hoped she hadn’t internalized ALL of the angst that is going on around here – as I try to progress from contract to permanent employee. So much for that faint hope!

Naturally, she has her own understanding of what is going on. It probably helps her to verbalize it to her sister.

I have no idea what A thinks of all this. J keeps things inside, but eventually speaks about things. A, in contrast, acts out. And she’s been doing a fair bit of that lately. So I am concerned. Though both of them seem pretty ecstatically happy most of the time, the dull ache from worrying about next year’s job is accompanied by its twin, the worry for the girls’ well-being in the face of family life frought with uncertainty and stress about the future.

Things are good right now, but it is only now that I can look at my family’s year. I’m hard pressed not to be really scathing with myself about it. However, I take one big breath and another and realize that only by chipping away at my fears can I build a future worth having.

Meanwhile, A is getting better and better at speaking, J seems to have more confidence every day, and well, we’re just a family moving forward.

Conundrum from workplace trenches

It is no longer safe for me to use the bathrooms on my floor.
A trip to the washroom is rife with candy landmines – Halloween goodies – prominently available for the taking on my route. Since I have no willpower, my safest option is to go up a floor, avoiding my level and the storey below me, with its cafeteria smelling like fabulous fresh muffins (damn them!). But, that puts me into Executive Territory and forces me to change into full office dress. I hate wearing hose and heels, and I am very happy slobbing around my floor in my runners and socks all day when I don’t have any external meetings. It is usually close enough to noon, arrival or leaving time to pretend I just arrived and haven’t yet changed. But on the exec floor, well, that’s trickier.

Being as I am lodged in a cubicle these days, making myself presentable means going to the loo to put on hose. At some point. So you can see where this is going. Yep, right past the candy again.

And it is good stuff – chocolate, not just suckers or something.

What’s a girl to do?

And now for something completely different

Not much different in the writing or reading, just in my life.
I no longer have a job.

I can’t get into the details, I’ll leave it at the fact that I am on a job search.

Friends and family have been wonderful, and I am relatively optimistic that this will be a good change in the end.

I now have a computer set up at home, and will post more shortly, but there is nothing like sitting down at a keyboard to make you entirely forget what you were going to write.

Fair  warning: there will probably be more, soon!